Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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