The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
