Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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