I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
