Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize