I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
