i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
