i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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