..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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