my sisters under your porch take her home
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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