I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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