Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
