I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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