Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
