the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
