my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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