Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
