he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
