What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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