We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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