Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
