Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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