Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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