the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
