mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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