Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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