Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
And then he peed in my hair
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