So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She's the barista slut.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
