Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
