yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
