Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
