eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
