it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
