My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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