I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
