their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
