did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
