I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
