Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
