I can text with my tongue
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
