I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We don't watch enough power rangers
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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