Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
