Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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