just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
