Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
