Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
