And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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