Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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