we're blogging at a bar
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
