12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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