Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She's just so happy...and so naked.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize