thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
