I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
