I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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