you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
