Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
