My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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