sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
