i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
