how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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