PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize